tj_director
28-02-2002, 01:58
first off, i'd call myself a forgiving movie goer, i'm known by friends for being too kind when it comes to commenting on films. I just like to think that i don't dismiss films simply becuase the ending was crap or i don't like the actor etc.. I very rarely full out blast a film, but i think i must do with 'The Musketeer', i honestly couldn't beleive what i was watching! and that it came from a major hollywood studio! Hell i even quite enjoyed the director's previous films (Stay Tuned, Sudden Death, 2010, Timecop, End Of Days).. and from watching them i'd call him one of those Solid directors.. who's able to deliver the goods within set genre. But not now :(
most films start off ok/good, then just end up being poor, (i.e.Don't Say A Word) but this film straight from the first scene is consistently bad.. in the first scene D'Artanian as a kid gets kicked by Tim Roth, and i actually cheered, within 2 mins the kid's character had succeded in annoying the hell out of me. And virtually every single line in this film is so cliche it really hurts. The writer was responsible for Police Academy 3,5, Sudden Death and Loaded Weapon, again films i actually enjoyed, i even own the latter! I honestly to god felt this script was written by a 15 yr old, no, a retarded 15 yr old, no wait... a retarded 15 yr old who wears glasses with the wrong prescription -- because even still the end result stupifies the believe that he actually re-read what he wrote!
Many reviewers blame the lead actor, Justin Chambers... who yes, looks the part, but unfortantely can't really act.. although i thought he did quite well in Wedding Planner (another turkey i actually enjoyed). Fortunately, the supporting cast is decent, Roth, Rea and Suvari are literally the only saving graces -- but even still the script makes fools of everyone involved.
Now the action scenes... i personally can't see why anyone would enjoy them or find them exciting.. in the first scene, the wire work really does look ridiculous and i just thought "you are taking the ***** right?" it really does take things too far, and all plausibilty vanishes. It would work in a comedy film, but not here, we're meant to take it seriously.. and the 'homages' to Raiders Of The Lost Ark and Once Upon A Time In China really are disgraceful... not only the crime of trying to copy legendary sequences, but doing so in such a ***** poor manor really embarrases those involved. There's one bit where our lead jumps from one horse to another... you have to see it to believe it.. it's really that ridiculous!! That Eastern influence completely messes this film up. It works in a film like The Matrix, because we believe it's happening.. but not in 18th Century France for christ sakes!!! :mad:
Usually with poor films coming out of a major studio, you can usually say at least the technical side of things were ok... but even here the tecnical side of things is lacking.. the production design has no inspiration.. it seems, they simply found old buildings and shot there. With recent turkeys, Battlefield Earth, Mission To Mars etc.. i still found them watchable as they took me to another world and made it believable.. but here, you don't feel that romantic sense of being in old France -- it's dull!!
The cinematography should have been a lot better, so to should the editing!! The sound mix is very poor, i rarely pick up on that stuff when it comes to Hollywood, but i just couldn't help noticing how poor the sound effects were. And the credit sequence at the start has got to be the worst looking thing i've ever seen.. they tried to get that feel of an old 70's programme, but it really looks very ugly and tacky.. i've done better stuff in my sleep, on my modest little PC!! My mate who's very good at pointing out technical foibles suprised me the next day by pointing one out virtually every 3-4 minutes. Camera man bumping into things, going out of focus.... the list goes on.
The only good thing i can say about this film is Tim Roth, with such a poor script he still pulls off the evil role nicely. And Suvari looks gorgeous as ever. And um... there was a genuine laugh once during the kitchen scene... apart from that i honestly cannot say anything good about this film.. if i was the kind of person who walked out of films then this would have been a major culprit... even still i had to start fast forwarding after some point, i really couldn't stand it. To make things worse these french characters speak in American and strong British accents.. now come on!!!
If i knew the writer made this film for that "It's so bad it's good" crowd of film goers.. then fair enough... but even still he's done a poor job there, you can't watch it in that way.. it's too crap and boring!! I'd love to see this film via the Mystery Science Theater 3000 way.. because there is literally bags of material for those guys here!!
I hate it when people demean a film by saying "All the good stuff was in the trailer" -- but i have to give in, and say it really is with this one.. the trailer itself makes for a relatively entertaining 2.5 minutes.. i'm not exageratting by saying the remaining 100 minutes has nothing else of merit!! If you're someone who thought "it's not as bad as everyone's saying" then kind sir, you must be a hell of a lot more forgiving than me... :)
most films start off ok/good, then just end up being poor, (i.e.Don't Say A Word) but this film straight from the first scene is consistently bad.. in the first scene D'Artanian as a kid gets kicked by Tim Roth, and i actually cheered, within 2 mins the kid's character had succeded in annoying the hell out of me. And virtually every single line in this film is so cliche it really hurts. The writer was responsible for Police Academy 3,5, Sudden Death and Loaded Weapon, again films i actually enjoyed, i even own the latter! I honestly to god felt this script was written by a 15 yr old, no, a retarded 15 yr old, no wait... a retarded 15 yr old who wears glasses with the wrong prescription -- because even still the end result stupifies the believe that he actually re-read what he wrote!
Many reviewers blame the lead actor, Justin Chambers... who yes, looks the part, but unfortantely can't really act.. although i thought he did quite well in Wedding Planner (another turkey i actually enjoyed). Fortunately, the supporting cast is decent, Roth, Rea and Suvari are literally the only saving graces -- but even still the script makes fools of everyone involved.
Now the action scenes... i personally can't see why anyone would enjoy them or find them exciting.. in the first scene, the wire work really does look ridiculous and i just thought "you are taking the ***** right?" it really does take things too far, and all plausibilty vanishes. It would work in a comedy film, but not here, we're meant to take it seriously.. and the 'homages' to Raiders Of The Lost Ark and Once Upon A Time In China really are disgraceful... not only the crime of trying to copy legendary sequences, but doing so in such a ***** poor manor really embarrases those involved. There's one bit where our lead jumps from one horse to another... you have to see it to believe it.. it's really that ridiculous!! That Eastern influence completely messes this film up. It works in a film like The Matrix, because we believe it's happening.. but not in 18th Century France for christ sakes!!! :mad:
Usually with poor films coming out of a major studio, you can usually say at least the technical side of things were ok... but even here the tecnical side of things is lacking.. the production design has no inspiration.. it seems, they simply found old buildings and shot there. With recent turkeys, Battlefield Earth, Mission To Mars etc.. i still found them watchable as they took me to another world and made it believable.. but here, you don't feel that romantic sense of being in old France -- it's dull!!
The cinematography should have been a lot better, so to should the editing!! The sound mix is very poor, i rarely pick up on that stuff when it comes to Hollywood, but i just couldn't help noticing how poor the sound effects were. And the credit sequence at the start has got to be the worst looking thing i've ever seen.. they tried to get that feel of an old 70's programme, but it really looks very ugly and tacky.. i've done better stuff in my sleep, on my modest little PC!! My mate who's very good at pointing out technical foibles suprised me the next day by pointing one out virtually every 3-4 minutes. Camera man bumping into things, going out of focus.... the list goes on.
The only good thing i can say about this film is Tim Roth, with such a poor script he still pulls off the evil role nicely. And Suvari looks gorgeous as ever. And um... there was a genuine laugh once during the kitchen scene... apart from that i honestly cannot say anything good about this film.. if i was the kind of person who walked out of films then this would have been a major culprit... even still i had to start fast forwarding after some point, i really couldn't stand it. To make things worse these french characters speak in American and strong British accents.. now come on!!!
If i knew the writer made this film for that "It's so bad it's good" crowd of film goers.. then fair enough... but even still he's done a poor job there, you can't watch it in that way.. it's too crap and boring!! I'd love to see this film via the Mystery Science Theater 3000 way.. because there is literally bags of material for those guys here!!
I hate it when people demean a film by saying "All the good stuff was in the trailer" -- but i have to give in, and say it really is with this one.. the trailer itself makes for a relatively entertaining 2.5 minutes.. i'm not exageratting by saying the remaining 100 minutes has nothing else of merit!! If you're someone who thought "it's not as bad as everyone's saying" then kind sir, you must be a hell of a lot more forgiving than me... :)